Disney....Why Try?

"Chicken Little (2006)"

First off, before I start reviewing this I just want to point out that I love kids movies..I really do. It just happens that 75% of them are terrible. Also, after trying to find a decent poster for this movie I also realised that there ARE NONE. All the posters for this are terrible..

This movie is poor. Very poor. It's extremely loosely based on the short story of Chicken Little, you know.. "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" Blah blah. Disney reintroduces us to the clich'e town that is inhabitted by talking animals (don't kids get tired of the same shit over and over again?) Chicken Little is ringing the bell shouting the sky is falling, his father doesn't stick up for him and insists it's an acorn that hit him. This is the main focus: Chicken Little's father and his horrible parenting skills. He never believes in his son.

A year later and people are still talking about Chicken Little and his "accident." Chicken Little tries to win his fathers respect/love by playing baseball! He does! But guess what happens? That same night he gets hit with a piece of the sky AGAIN. Oh no..he needs to make a decision. Decide whether to tell his father (who won't believe him,) or keep it a secret. He calls over his clich'e friends (one's fat and constantly afraid/nervous while the other is ugly and smart.) The only one sort of original feeling is "Fish Out of Water," who is a fish with a helmet on that has water in it so he can be out of water. So witty!

So...the fish hits a button and this piece of the sky turns on and then floats up and attatches to something invisible and moves away. They follow it, it's a U.F.O. A creature on the U.F.O gets off and when the U.F.O leaves it returns to destroy town..oh boy. The end is nigh'. But wait, I have a question. This poster to the right had what I considered false advertising on it (double click it for bigger version.) There's a red circle around the part I'm talking about.

Maybe I'm retarded and am taking the poster to seriously since I mean some do say some weird shit on them. On the other hand the poster pretty much says, "The sky is seriously falling in this flick. That's the plot, no joke." Yet..IT'S NOT. WHAT THE FUCK? Then you go in there and get a bunch of shit about U.F.O's, Chicken Littles father sucking at parenting and a really terrible side story where Chicken Little likes Abby, the ugly duckling. Which basically has one set up line, Abby calls him cute by accident. That's IT. Then Chicken Little just bursts out the line, "I ALWAYS FOUND YOU ATTRACTIVE." and BAM, Kisses her. It makes NO FUCKING SENSE.

Before I compliment the film let me just say to me this was basically a 60 minute parenting lesson. Teaching parents to "STICK BY" their child even if what they say is totally whacked out. Yeah right. The only situation a parent should listen to their child no matter what is when he mutters the words, "Daddy/Uncle/Neighbor/Aunt/Any other odd relative or associate of the family including the family dog, touched me." Otherwise, don't believe half of the shit your children say and if they lie beat them..

To compliment the film? The only thing this gets a compliment about from me is the graphics. Cool stuff, if only they did something truly interesting with CGI instead of just kids movies. The music sucks, it's mostly lame-ass music like two of the characters Karaoke singing to Spice Girls, fucking UGH. Some Bare-Naked Ladies song..just, ugh. Enough of these dumbass movies.

"Over The Hedge" beats the hell out of this stupid-ass movie. Not only was it better, but it didn't have any stupid pop culture jokes in it or anything. Fuck "Chicken Little," "Over The Hedge," is the better kids movie. Disney should be kissing John Lasseters ass because without him that company would be in the toilet. Prepare to see the return of decent movies coming out of from Disney with him in charge, and less of this shit.

I highly suggest not seeing "Chicken Little," unless you're bored and just have it or if you REALLY want to see it because otherwise it's just gonna be lame. I saw the trailer for it and it looked fun, but it wasn't..It really wasn't. Maybe in a very, very young childs mind but I can't see anyone older then 9 enjoying this immensely.

IMDB link for "Chicken Little."

Coming Soon: I think I know what I'm going to post tomorrow along with a movie review maybe if I can a movie in. Definately check back in tomorrow. Something new will be here...